on my way

from misery
to something else
grittier, harder
wet gravel
it scrapes my hands and knees
leaves angry red marks
welts
stings as mud makes its way in
dust clouds
fog and mist
the stench
the overpowering stench
saps and snags
sags
pulls me into its red wine grasp
its thirsty claw
a familiar maw
an old blanket trod
default state
real fake
i'm on my way
back there
comfortable threadbare
dark and cool
decaying stacks and racks
piled high
a barricade of bodies
the tide, the tirade, same old charade, cliched
worn record groove
tired tired melody
that i should refrain
from
indulging in
imbibing him
in wondering
in intoxication of possible of pregnant
in dream of maybe
in haze
in fug
drugged
insensible in sanity in tears
i lead
my way