fragment

why bother
why even start
to try

when voices from the wall
mock you with casual ignorance
innocent of their barbs
or so it seems
muffled just enough
thick and dull

but still the laughter carries

tell

tell everybody
go on
tell them
you want to
what you want to
do to me
show them
use instructive diagrams
live models
impressive tables, graphs, statistics
prove to yourself
its right
its needed
for everybody’s good
especially mine

cos I’m wrong
you broke me
far too deep to fix
your too cheap to fix
the fuse, the wire, the cog, the lie
the heart of the matter
is busted
you screwed too hard
bashed it
up against the ribcage wall
the bars, the cell, the limit
turned the dial
to eleven, twelve, whatever
you’d lost count by that point
blind, drunk, dazzled, dizzy
sparks, bubbles, gas, steam
shooting, thrilling, streaming, seeming
more real than real
more true than a lie detector
you measured your pleasure
and it was off the charts

dead rat

Thrilling really
How willingly we comply
How we’ll watch the time unravel
From the ball we used to hold

Simple surely
How our senses dull their edges
Worn smooth and imbecile
Through overuse and over-wrought

Stange sometimes
How light can play on windows
How shafts appear through clouds
The world dances (be)for us

Silly still
How we smile and then forget
Feel and then forget
Sigh and dry the tears

Funny though
What makes it through the winter
What carries through the dark
What lands upon our doorstep

Sitting silent
It waits until we’re ready
It sees but only listens
Its judgement not for us

So why
Do we let it go all mouldy
Do we leave it in the rain
Do we pass it by each morning

Who knows
But still the strings unfurling
Our planet still is turning
We turn towards the sun

present

Its cold
The air bites my skin
Nips my heels
Makes me hurry to the next room
Makes you inhale through your teeth
Rub jumper arms
Feet in socks

The air is realer here
Heavy
Present
A watching animal
Not quite benign pet
But not malevolent either
It harbours things
Things make it their home
Winged and insectine
Webbed crawled
Things you lay traps and poison for
Things you dread in dead of night
Unwelcome visitors
Always leave traces

you look awful

no truly
you do
would i
lie to you
of course not honey
darling
its for you own good
that i provide
accurate critique
that i take a step
back
and appraise
that i cease to amaze
look really
you should know
that
just doesn't go
its not you
its not chic
its not nice
its looks cheap
you look
no i didn't say that
hey come back
for a sec
you need to thicken your skin
i've only begun to begin
i'm barely started
there's your hair
for one
your thighs
and your bum
your bust is ok
but then a rack's just a rack
if you can't back
it up with some class
and not just a fat arse
a bow or a belt
is most often used
usually abused
to cinch in a waist
or an overlarge coat
in dark brown or black
can often make up
for the lack
of physique
but then
you are unique
you're one of a kind
the way you match colours
is quite like a blind
person would
just going on feel
with absolutely no
hint of appeal
no sex
no mystique
no
spotted on the street
hot look of this week
you're just dumpy and sad
like an old knitted bag
tossed away
you fail
ready for
garage sale
passed off with a grin
dumped in a bin
filled wih charity clothes
and no one wants those
well none with a nose
for fashion or sense
avoidance is best
look down and detest
those less fortunate than you
in cheap knock-off shoes
that callous their feet
while you swan on by
nose high in the sky
flying and free
freshly shopping spreed
freshly groomed
newly trimmed
each day at the gymed
toned tanned and lean
a new beauty queen
never daring to stop
or question
your top
just pull on those jeans
rip and burst at your seams
with shining ego
and eyeliner emo
lipliner high gloss
your hair flicked with toss
your mag teemed with goss
your teeth need no floss
your brain turns to dross
your life is so tame
your one goal is fame
your one thought is vain
your next step will maim
your face as it meets with a bus

you look awful