my little towel head

i love my little towel head
he rubs me dry
warm and fluffy robes
flapping in the breeze
clinging to his calves

they call him terrorist
and i agree
he has infiltrated my heart
planted a seed
a bomb
a suspicious package
who knows
when it will go off
i will explode
delighted
showers of fine white powder
glitter
litter the streets
coat my skin
it'll take weeks to wash him out

oh yes, he's fanatical
i could never love someone
who doesn't understand
consuming passion
the flames of fervent belief
lick at my crotch
a doctrine
a dogma
a stick a whip a line
a smile

fatwa
jihad
infidel
he likes to call me names
dirty words
dangerous and sexy
i'm his foreign tongue
his occupied region
invaded
conquered
effigies burn
tempers flare
there are shouts
and cries
and tears

in the desert of our bed
we plunge for oil
shafts alight aglow
precious liquid
nations war
to claim this land
flat hard torso
none can call their own

but me

that sinking feeling

you get the feeling
that one day
it'll all just make sense

you'll finally have that one realisation
epiphany
the key
to the lock of your life

and all your hurt
doubt
fear
every trauma
every angst
every mote of anxiety
will flow
out in a great glorious soft wave

and you'll be pristine
released
complete
content
transformed

the new, better, ultimate you
the one you dreamed you'd be
able to tackle anything
a thousand and one positive adjectives
culminate in you
you are brilliance
happiness
energy
dancing through life
happily ever after

but you won't
there is no key
there isn't a lock
there is only the silence
of the cage
the tick of the bars
as
you drown
in the oceans of your dreams

confessions of a child star

i used to be amazing
bright brilliant
beyond expectations
special classes
yeah
i used to be special
talented sharp
cutting through curricula

i even won awards
scholarships
prizes
certificates
medals
ribbons

so many badges of honour
little trinkets declaring my worth
talismans

acclaim heaped upon acclaim
and then adolescence yawned
suddenly
slowly
i wasn't so great any more
i was less that great
i wasn't special
i was worthless

all those totems
turned token
plastic
paper
cheap and meaningless
bottom of the box
middle of the road
ahead of the curve but only
just
average
plain
old
average

a tomb a house

i'm building a home
i'm building a world
you'll never know
till thousands of years
have wiped your furrowed brow
your feeble excavations
will unearth me
magnificent fossil
godess entombed
i will blind you
reason falters at my feet
fades
i bend
space
distort
light
absorb, reflect, multiply
i, conduit
i, traveller
ancient one
encased in anger
caked in tears
will tear your world apart
with my silent stare
forgotten gaze
i see you from my distant past
i see you from across the years
as they close
fast
like spiked walls
rushing upon you
the air is coming
i am coming
the sound of wings
beats your ears
the throbbing
threatens to burst
a thunderclap
and
i
am born

know

don't
look at me
i'm not worth the time
it'll take you
to blink and miss me
i'm not worth the half a breath
you'll expell in disgust
i'm not worth
the .001 cents i may cost you
cos time is money
i'm not worth
all the effort
your brain's exerted
just to tell you i don't matter
i'm not worth that split-second of indecision
in which you could've been curing cancer
i'm not worth it
ok
so stop
know now
it doesn't matter
because
you're not worth shit