height is the measure of a man

i want to be taller
though
i already am
people stare in the street, they look and try not to
see and then not-see, glaze over, glance past
like i was morbidly obese
or fully gothic

and i pretend i didn't notice
and look down
i look down a lot

but i want to be taller
i want to wear heels all the time
not just on the special occasions when i allow myself
like a treat
an expensive wine
a luxurious frill
a decadent mistake

i tell myself
if i were taller
i would match their gaze
claim their attention
acknowledge
allow them to view me

if i were taller
i would be seen
would not be afraid to appear
somehow 6 inches makes me: more real, more there, more of everything i want and profoundly
less of what i'm not

literally
above it all
standing out from the crowd
"no, i do not play basketball" ("yes, i get asked that a lot")
oh i know its a curse, my cross to bear, poor me, etc.
i will embrace cliche
trite, pat, ordinary

but i'll still be taller...